Constant
by symplymystery
Summary: Set after the events of the 1st season finale. Hints of Philinda. Head-Cannon. I'm really bad at summaries, I just enjoy the interactions between Coulson and May and wanted to write something predominantly from their POVs.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own any of the characters - All are from Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. This is the first piece of Fanfic I have written and I'm not sure if it will just be drabbles or if I will continue from this piece.

* * *

Melinda stirred after another fitful night of sleep, she figured that tonight would be different, that the exhaustion that the rage of the berserker staff and fighting Ward would keep her in peaceful oblivion tonight. Turned out she was wrong. Her muscles ached and fatigue had settled in the minute she had touched the bed, but here she was at 3 in the morning wide awake.

She got out of bed and winced when her muscles protested. She padded out barefoot to the kitchen at the Playground in a black tank top and grey slacks. She put the kettle on and made a mug of peppermint tea whilst sipping her tea she decided to roam the base and look around as she had been too preoccupied when they had first arrived. While going past the storage room she heard a faint scraping noise. She put down her mug, adjusted her footing and lowered her stance ready to attack before she crept into the room.

What she saw made her wish she had stayed in bed just a little longer, a little longer for her to put off this moment. There was Coulson, clutching a knife and carving into stone the same diagrams Garret had on the Bus. She took a breath and her mind went through the check-list of symptoms patients treated with GH.325 displayed before their complete deterioration into madness. Her next thought was _it's begun._

She cautiously approached and gently called out "Coulson", she waited for a reply "Philip" he hadn't responded, so she tried louder "Phil!" She came up behind him and wrapped her hand around the wrist holding the knife, he didn't resist he just stopped writing, so she gently pried the knife from his hand, once she'd secured the knife and placed it on a nearby shelf, she tried to wake him again. "PHIL! Please! It's Melinda, please wake-up." It didn't work, so she steered him away from the wall and lead him back to his room. She gently tucked him in and his eyelids finally close over his blank gaze.

Melinda quickly retrieved an Icer from her room and pulled up a chair next to Phil's bed, settled in it and waited for him to wake.

A couple of hours later Philip stirred and turned over onto his stomach, his right arm hung partially off the side of the bed and it looked uncomfortable, he flipped back onto his back. While doing so his eyes half opened and he caught a glimpse of her; he was instantly alert. "Good morning" she had greeted and waited for his brain to register that it was her sitting in the chair next to his bed and she saw him relax. "Morning May". He greeted while sitting sitting up and that's when he noticed the Icer in her hand. It wasn't directly pointed at him, but he could tell that it was situated in her hand ready to be used. "May, what's going on? Why do you have a gun at the ready?". "It's an Icer. Before you say anything you'll regret I need to tell you that I found you earlier in the storage room, carving the same diagram Garret did on the wall." She watched and waited. As she saw his confusion turn into anger, then fear and finally defeat. He took a breath "It's begun?" he asked. "Yes" she replied with a sigh.


	2. Chapter 2

This Chapter is all in Coulson's POV. Sorry it took so long to update! I got a nasty cold &amp; being my first fanfic, it's been hard getting into their heads so sorry if they're not quite right. Luckily listening to 'You' by Pretty Reckless, 'Drift Away' by Dobie Gray &amp; 'One &amp; Only' by Adele helped with writing this. Once again I don't own any of the Characters they all belong to Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

* * *

After her revelation this morning he needed time to think and process. He was thankful that as always, she knew what he needed and after giving his shoulder a squeeze she'd left him to begin his day. After staring at his diagram in the storage room and pacing for about an hour, he entered the gym knowing that Melinda would be there doing her evening Tai Chi. "I need to discuss this with you. I've been thinking about it all day. I think I should tell the rest of the team. We need to make a plan in case - well you know." Melinda rolled her eyes. "Yes, okay we need to make a plan for us and then tell the team. I should tell them now right? No; maybe in the morning." She moved her hands in a flowing motion. "You're right in the morning."

"Mel" Her movements pause for a fraction of a moment. "Melinda, if I go insane, if I compromise the security of the world, the team, you..."

She stills then turns to face him "I'll fix the problem."

"I... Thank you." He sighed, somehow he felt calmer. He leant against the wall and watched her finish her last stance. She looked so composed, controlled and graceful; like nothing could faze her. But he knows better. He was there with her digging through the ashes of Bahrain.

"May, I know this is asking a lot from you. I need to make sure that.." "What I mean is you've come a long way over the years, a long way since you.. since Bahrain." She completed her final exhale and her arms fell to her side. She didn't look at him, but he could tell by the slight tensing of her shoulders that she was listening; she'd always been quiet and better at listening than him so he continued. "I guess what I'm saying is, we're in this together and if you need to talk I'm here. I have your back too"

Melinda turned to face him. He wasn't sure about what he would do if she wasn't in this with him. He knows that she didn't even blame him for everything he said and did, he didn't even thank her. He knows she didn't want or need to be thanked, but part of him still felt like he hasn't managed to tell her just how glad he is that she is back. She was always able tell him anything with a look, if he is really paying attention. After the Hub he had been deaf to everything she was saying to him, her words and her eyes. Consumed with a rage from the belief that the one person he thought he could share anything with could betray him and watch him suffer. He'd forgiven her before he saw her in the motel room.

He was afraid to look up into her eyes, afraid that all he would see was the hardness she'd grown to protect herself over the years. He bit the bullet and looked into them, what he saw in there gave him hope. She was right there with him in the moment, not lost in haunting memories. All her emotions were right there for one rare moment and he drowned in them, all her fear, sorrow, hope and something else he couldn't quite put his finger on; whatever it was gave him the reassurance he needed.

"Phil, I've lived through you dying once. At least _if_ it comes down to it this time I know I would have done everything possible in this universe to save you."

He didn't know what to say, there was just too much and nothing felt like it would ever be enough.

"We will work through this. You are **not **Garrett; he was selfish and driven by a misguided sense of entitlement. _You_; you're driven to **protect**; _you_ stand for everything that was good about S.H.I.E.L.D. That's why this team follows _you_. Y_ou _foster and nurture the good in those around you. _You_ inspire loyalty and _you_ give a sense of purpose even when all looks lost". She paused and looked like she was about to say more instead she took a breath and just looked at him.

"Thank you" He knows it's not much but he hoped that she could read his eyes and see everything that those two words meant. She smiled her gentle smile, the one she seems give only to him and he knew she understood.

"You should talk to Skye first" She finally said after a few seconds of silence.

"Yes, she's still awake" He replied. She turned to leave, "Where are you going?"

"Skye". Right, of course, she was going to get Skye now. "Meet in my office in 5".


	3. Chapter 3

So, sorry for the slow updates. Life is busy and I won't lie, it's hard to find inspiration for the story. I haven't planned it out. But I now have a rough idea of the next 2 chapters, thanks to my amazing friend who proof-read my last chapters and I have now edited them.

This chapter is all in May's POV.

Once again I don't own any of the Characters they all belong to Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

* * *

After leaving Coulson in the gym May headed towards the hanger, as she figured that Skye would be in the back of the SUV. She knocked twice on the back passenger side door and pulled the door open. Skye was curled up on the other side with her laptop on her knees and an open bag of Cheetos beside her. Melinda noted that Skye looked exhausted, dark circles under her eyes and it looked liked she'd been crying.

"Can I help you?" Skye queried with a hint of animosity.

Melinda ignored her tone, but made a mental note to continue their interrupted conversation in the motel room.

"Coulson and I need to see you in his office now" Melinda replied in what she hoped was a gentle tone.

Skye sighed heavily and moved her laptop off her and closed the lid, putting it on the seat. Melinda guessed she intended to come back here after the meeting.

"If it's about Ward and you're worried about me, don't be." Skye told her in clipped tones.

Melinda gave Skye a pointed look that brooked no argument and answered. "It's not about that, but we **will** discuss _that_ after Tai Chi tomorrow morning. That is, if you're still interested in learning some 'hate-fu'. Melinda twitched her lips into a hint of a smile, then turned and walked away. She didn't look back and after a couple of seconds she heard Skye shuffle along behind her.

* * *

Melinda decided to stand by the door, while Skye flopped into a chair in front of Phil's desk. Normally, she would be in the chair opposite him, perching on the edge of the desk or standing beside him; but she wasn't sure if he wanted her present while he spoke with Skye about the GH.325 and this way if he asked her to leave, it wouldn't be an awkward long walk to the door. Melinda looked Phil over; he'd gotten his composure back and was sitting in his chair with his hands clasped in front of him.

"What's up A.C?" Sky greeted, but it lacked her normal enthusiasm.

Phil took a breath "Remember when Quinn shot you and we used the same serum they used on me to save you?"

"Well, obviously I don't remember it being injected into me but yeah, Jemma is still monitoring me and taking regular samples. I think she is hoping to get Fitz back with it, well based on the brief conversation we had today, we were a bit too tired for a proper D and M," Phil gave Skye a questioning look at this.

"You know; Deep and Meaningful." Skye clarified and then carried on.

"So yeah, I remember the alien juice that's in us. What I don't understand now is why we're still keeping it from the team, well obviously May knows, cos she's here. I think you should let Simmons research it; she is a scientist you know. She'll like, go all 'This will change the world' and she has to research 'For science'. She's really quite scary, passionate about it sometimes. I know that we were keeping it from the team to protect them, but seriously secrets are the last thing we need after everything that's gone down. But let's face it there's no S.H.I.E.L.D anymore and well, we've been through so much and you said yourself that we wouldn't be bound by protocol by this, right? Besides anyone who had answers are either dead, scattered around the world or possibly Hydra, I reckon the team can handle it and we need them, if we want answers." Skye rambled out; Melinda smirked as it was nice to hear Skye speak normally with her thoughts falling out of her mouth without thought.

"Yes, well. About that, I found out more about the side effects..." Phil replied while turning his laptop around. Melinda knew that he was going to show her the report she'd dug up.

* * *

"Whoa! Umm okay. So I'm going to go Cuckoo? I would have preferred sprouting a pointy tail. Wait, how long had you known?" Skye asked, after watching the video log.

"Since May came back, she didn't abandon us. She left to get answers to the questions I had and came back with this." Phil replied.

"Right, okay. So why now? Why didn't you tell us earlier? Why didn't you tell me earlier? I mean this affects me too, what if I go all crazy and pull a Ward and start dumping people into the ocean or something?" Skye's voice got higher with each question; she was clearly agitated and looked like she was going to cry. So Melinda went to her and placed her hand on Skye's shoulder giving it a gentle but firm squeeze. Skye looked up at her but didn't shrug off her hand, which was a positive.

"I'm sorry Skye, at the time we had more important things to worry about. Neither of us was showing any symptoms, so I thought we could leave it until things quietened down a bit. Oh, as a side note there is still S.H.I.E.L.D, well there will be. Fury made me Director and we're going to rebuild." Melinda noticed that Phil hadn't gotten out the actual reason for this meeting, that he'd avoided answering directly Skye's question as to 'Why now'.

"So, what changed? Something must have changed; I mean May wouldn't come get me at this hour just for a chat that could potentially wait. Things haven't exactly 'calmed down' as you put it. Have you noticed something with me? Have I blacked out and started being all cray-cray?" Skye demanded, while May squeezed her shoulder again and rubbed her back, she really wanted to try to keep Skye calm.

"No,_ you_ haven't." Phil responded.

"Oh... Oh. What do we do now A.C?" Skye slumped into the chair, brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tight.

Phil looked at Melinda for the first time since she walked in, he was pleading with her with his eyes, asking for help. It was worrying that Phil hadn't come up with a plan yet, he's normally the first to start running scenarios, limiting the independent variables and coming up with contingencies.

So Melinda took a breath and answered. "We take each day as it comes. Tomorrow we talk to Simmons, full disclosure and we start working through this together. Skye has a point we need the whole team in on this; right now is not the time for the red tape and it's certainly not the time to stand alone." May forced her voice to sound firm and confident, she wasn't sure of anything at all. But she couldn't let Phil down, not again. She met his eyes and held them for a moment to get her point across, after a few seconds he nodded and gave a small smile.

"Okay, that sounds doable. But what about if we can't fix it, what if we become a danger to those around us?" Tears had gathered in Skye's eyes and they started streaming as she continued. "The team is the closest thing to a family I've had. I don't want to hurt any of you. A.C you're like the closest I've come to having a father figure and to watch you lose your mind..." Skye sobbed and grabbed Melinda's hand that was on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

"Please, you're the only one strong enough. Please stop me if, if I try to hurt anyone. If I'm too far gone, please just save everyone. You're the strongest person I know and you have the whole compartmentalising thing down, that and I don't want a stranger to do it." Skye's pleads struck her hard, it cemented her decision to take Skye under her wing so to speak. In that moment Skye sounded just like Phil and it tore her apart inside. She managed to give a firm nod, while looking into Skye's eyes, she tried projecting the same look of reassurance she gave Phil.

"Thank you." Skye whispered and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

Phil stood and went to the other side of Skye and put his hand on her other shoulder while crouching down to look at her.

"We will get through this Skye; it might not get to that point. But you're right, May is the strongest person I know too and that includes Captain America! She won't let anything happen to us and she won't let us hurt anyone. We won't be alone, she won't let us be and when Melinda May has made up her mind about something she tends to get her way. If anyone can scare insanity away it would be her." His attempt at humour made Melinda roll her eyes and smirk.

After he'd hugged Skye goodnight Melinda walked with Skye back to the SUV, they walked in silence until they got to the hanger.

"He has a point you know" Skye said and Melinda raise a questioning eyebrow.

"This world is full of monsters, not all of them human. But with people like you, people that are fully human and kick ass like you do. It seems possible to win against them. I think I owe you an apology, yeah I know you don't want it or need it or whatever but yeah, I actually thought you'd upped and left us when Ward told me. I thought you didn't care, even though Simmons told me that you'd smashed Quinn's face." Skye was rambling again and Melinda had to smile at that.

"I'll see you at 5 tomorrow morning, don't be late" Melinda answered and gave Skye one last squeeze on her shoulder and walked back to Phil's office.

* * *

She leant against the doorway and watched Phil; he was back in his chair with his face in his hands. She pushed off the frame and walked towards him.

"Scare insanity away, seriously?" She smirked and sat in the chair Skye had previously occupied.

"I was improvising, plus I believe it. Heck I need to believe it." Phil looked up at her and gave her a grim look.

"Get some rest Phil, we have a busy day tomorrow."

"I don't know if I can sleep, what if I go back to the storage room?"

"I'll watch over you."

"You need rest as well."

"I will get some"

"Promise?"

Melinda nodded and gave him a smile; she might have kept things from him. But she hadn't broken a promise and she didn't intend to start then.


	4. Chapter 4

So, sorry for the slow updates. Life is busy and I won't lie, it's hard to find inspiration for the story. This Chapter has been hard to churn out, it hasn't been looked over by anyone else. I apologise if there's inconsistencies in the tenses, I have read it so many times I think I'm going cross-eyed. I decided to post what I have so far for this Chapter and have now decided to split it in half, since I can't seem to get the next half churned out yet. I didn't want you guys to wait any longer to here goes...

Oh and with Season 2 coming out this is obviously Head-cannon :)

Once again I don't own any of the Characters they all belong to Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

* * *

May's POV - 8 Months later

* * *

It was supposed to be a snatch and grab, Skye managed to find a Hydra safe house. They did their research and the place was meant to have minimal security and with only a handful of personnel. She was still getting used to the new members of the team and while she trusted them, she wanted to be the one to go in with Skye and Trip. They'd flown in on Trip's plane and landed several miles out to be safe while under the cover of darkness. As they neared the perimeter they took cover amongst the foliage and watched the guards for a moment.

Trip had surveyed the area and made the call "They aren't patrolling, just standing guard so we'll have to go to them, I can take out the one by the fence line, Skye you get the one by the Hummer and May the one on the balcony."

Melinda nodded in agreement "We'll need to time it right so that they can't alert each other, Skye and I will get into position and count of 3 then strike." With that said May started moving into position. She crept through to the side of the building while staying in the shadows, quickly and silently she jumped up and hung off the bottom rail and counted to 3. On 3 she pulled herself up and over the railing behind the guard. She immediately delivered a hard blow to his temple, knocking him out. Taking out the three guards was easy, after they had restrained and concealed them, they regrouped.

"I need to get to a terminal, it doesn't matter which one and hack in. Once in, it should be easy to take out their systems and retrieve the intel." Skye said while they crept through one of the corridors.

Trip whispered back "Okay, well according to the blueprints of this place they should have offices down the corridor to the left." He continued "I'm concerned that we haven't encountered anyone else, also that they don't seem to have any obvious security. This is even easier than what we expected."

May had been thinking the same thing and a knot had been building in her stomach since they turned into this corridor. "I agree with Trip, keep eyes peeled and Skye stick close to me. I will take point, Trip you bring in the rear." They got into their positions and carried on. As they turned left down the corridor, May heard a click and it was the only warning they got. "Get Back!" She yelled while lunging back &amp; shoving Skye into Trip. The resulting explosion blocked the way they were heading; debris and wires were strewn across the area and a metal support beam was hanging from the ceiling. May looked around but couldn't see through the cloud of falling insulation that hadn't settled yet. "Skye! Trip! What's your status?" She called out into the dark. "Fine, Trip's pecs broke my fall" Skye coughed out. "Nice of you to notice, now roll off so we can get out of here." Trip's response came out a bit winded.

May rolled her eyes after letting herself feel relieved that they were relatively uninjured. "We need to get out of here. That explosion was only to block us off, this is probably a trap and we'll encounter all the personnel that have managed to be scarce since we got here." She ordered.

"I couldn't agree more; let's beat our feet back to the jet." Trip responded. "But what about the intel? We came all this way and it just seem such a waste to start running now. I can still hack in, they wouldn't be expecting us to continue through the blocked corridor" Skye protested. May processed Skye's words, this was the biggest break they've had in a month and they desperately needed as much information as they could find. The debris had settled while they were talking, she scanned the area and noticed that there was a gap under the support beam that had fallen; Skye would be able to fit. She hardened her features and made the call. "Okay, there's a gap there. Skye you can fit in, find a terminal and retrieve anything you can."

"I plan to leave them a little present, similar to the one I gave to Garret." Skye grinned.

"Trip you stay here and guard until her return. You have 20 minutes, start crawling. We'll meet back where we hid before taking out the guards" May instructed while heading back the way they came.

"And you?" Trip enquired. May smirked "I'm going to buy us some time."

Skye POV

She got on her hands and knees and started crawling as May ordered, pushing bits of wood and avoiding anything sharp as she went along. She inhaled something powdery which caused her to sneeze, while doing so she hit her head on a piece of wall and cursed. "You okay in there?" Trip called out to her. "Yeah, just perfect" She called back, it looked like there were two more metres of crawling to go before she got past everything and knowing May wouldn't be impressed if they were late she crawled a little faster.

She got to a tight spot and had to army crawl through, thankful for the drills May and Trip had been putting her through these last months. Eight months of rigorous training had transformed her, she wasn't ninja-boss level like May but she was pretty kick-ass if she went back in time her old self would be pretty impressed. Sometimes, she missed her old self. Pre-Hydra Skye was more carefree, less focused and nothing phased her. But Pre-Hydra Skye wasn't what was needed and to be honest she wouldn't really want to go back. She finally got to the end of the rubble but the gap was too small, so she shoved a as much as she could out of the way then used one of the thicker pieces of wood to force the ones blocking her way out. It took precious minutes but she was successful and scurried out into the open hallway.

She saw a door ahead on the left and jogged to it, she tried the handle and it was locked. Remembering what May taught her she checked to see which way it swung, luckily it swung inwards; it was also a solid wood door so she knew it would take a fair amount of force for her to kick it open. With that in mind she stood a couple of feet from the door, raised her right foot and kicked putting her whole body forward with the sole of her foot connecting into the area just below the handle as the latch should be the weakest spot. Skye almost did a happy dance when she was rewarded with the door cracking away from the frame; she did allow herself one fist pump. Before kicking again and entering the room, she did a quick sweep for any threats and found none. Skye headed to the nearest computer and got to work.


	5. Chapter 5

So just a quick warning, I think I made them a bit OOC. I'm really sorry if it's so, I blame the hiatus. :) So some I started writing before S2 and the rest I just inserted. I wrote this before Season 2 started and had to edit to try and keep it somewhat in line with the character, I'm not wanting to butcher them. That being said I took liberties with Bahrain. Once again I haven't had anyone read over this so all mistakes are mine. Also tried to write the 2 other chapters to fill in before this and got nothing, one day I might be able to find the inspiration to add to this. But for now I going to just complete this story.

Once again I don't own any of the Characters they all belong to Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

* * *

May's POV

Melinda took a breath whist she sunk deeper into the split and inwardly cursed as today she was feeling restless. It was only 10am, she had already tried doing Tai Chi again and meditating to calm her thoughts, but they kept drifting.

It had been a month since she was released from the infirmary and everyday she had been training harder. Her best wasn't good enough anymore, not if events of the last mission was anything to go by. She needed to be lethal; she needed to be the Shield to protect the team. Logically she knew she wouldn't be able to prevent any harm coming to those she cared about, but she was going to do her damnedest to try.

Everyday was the same; up at 3am to make sure Phil was in bed, if not escort him back, up again at 5am for Tai Chi with Skye. Have a quick breakfast, then into the gym to train, sometimes she forgot to break for lunch and Phil always ordered her to come to dinner. The first couple of times she was surprised that he remembered, considering that prior to the mission she was the one dragging him away from his desk and mountains of paperwork. She sighed and wished he would leave her be. Phil was the one that enjoyed being around people, listening and joining in with their dinner banter, while all she could think about while they were discussing their day was about a new move she had to perfect.

She tried to close her eyes and relax while in the split, concentrating on her breathing, in and out. It worked for about 5 minutes then she got restless again. She sighed, stood up and thought that maybe a run would work. As she was heading out of the gym she passed Skye who greeted her. "Hey May, I've got more potentials to join our merry band of vigilantes for you to go over".

"I'll have a look later, if anyone needs me tell them I'm out for a run and will be back in a couple of hours." She responded.

Something must have given away her unrest, as Skye reached over and touched her lightly on her left forearm. "Are you okay?" She asked.

May had to acknowledge that her relationship with the young woman had been growing stronger over the months; she felt responsible for the girl. Sometimes when she looked at Skye she saw a younger version of herself, which is why she worried about her with all the things that had happened in such a short time. At the same time she was proud of the progress the girl had made in her training.

"I'm just a bit tired; a run should get the adrenaline going." She replied with what she hoped was a hint of a reassuring smile.

"Okay then. I'll see you later" Skye responded and walked off towards the Koenigs' office.

She'd been running for about an hour and all it accomplished was giving her more time to dwell on her thoughts, today was worse than Bahrain, today was her birthday she used to like her birthday, sometimes she would forget. Phil always remembered, even after Bahrain, he would call or sometimes stop by. He always, always got her something, she'd kept every little trinket he's given her over the years. Normally she would be able to deal with it, but with everything that'd happened in the last year it was just a reminder of how much had changed over the years, another reminder that Phil might not be there for another one. That she would have to... no she refused to think about it. Damn him. Her mind kept racing between Bahrain, Phil dying, finding out that he wasn't dead any more, seeing him two days after she found out he was alive, him finding out that she knew more than she had let on, him no longer trusting her and now him carving into a wall. The wounds that were still healing from the last mission didn't help either. With each step Melinda was found it harder to breath, her mind was going through every nightmare she'd had since Bahrain and all her new ones. The one where she watches Loki stab Phil, while she is too far away to stop it happening and helplessly watches him die, the newest one is where he goes insane and tries to kill everyone, so she puts him down. That's the plan, he goes crazy she stops him and it destroys her. Why couldn't he have gone with the plan for Australia?

She didn't even realise that she'd stopped running until she had her back pressed against a tree and she was gasping for breath. Melinda tried desperately to calm down and concentrate on regulating her breathing, which only resulted in producing shuddering breaths inwards. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realised that she was having a panic attack and with that thought came a wave of disgust at herself for being so weak.

* * *

Coulson's POV

Phil sighed and pushed the file currently in front of him away, the folder knocked over his desk calendar. As he put it back in place he saw the date. He couldn't believe how quickly time had flown, it felt like days since he'd woke to May sitting beside him with an Icer in her hand. Where did the months go? He looked at the date again, he felt like it should mean something and after a few moments staring at it, it finally clicked that today was her birthday. He jolted out of the chair and headed to the gym.

When he got there he found it empty, so he went to the Keonigs' office, as he approached the door he almost yelled. "Billy, I need you tell me where Agent May is."

"Uh, yes Sir, of course. Let's see" Billy consulted the screen. "Umm Sir it looks like she's not on base."

"Well bring up the security feed; I need you to find her now." He demanded, Phil knew that he was being overbearing but he was getting more worried by the second, since coming to the Playground May always let one of the Koenigs or him know where she would be, just in case they needed her urgently. He paced in the small room while Billy started going through the security feed.

"Umm well sir it looks like she was in the gym earlier, then she spoke to Agent Skye before heading outside."

"Where is Agent Skye now?" Phil asked mid-stride and stopped his pacing.

"Right behind you A.C, what's up?" Phil spun around to see Skye standing behind him at doorway holding some files.

"Do you know where May went?" He asked.

"Yeah, she said to tell you she was going out for a run and she will be back in a couple of hours. Is something wrong? She looked a bit off this morning." Phil didn't respond as he was trying to think of how to find May.

"A.C? Um, Hello? Earth to A.C?" Phil jolted out of his thoughts and looked at Skye "Sorry?"

"I asked if everything is alright." Skye gently reminded him.

"Everything is fine; I just need to find May." Phil replied.

"Well, we can always look through the security cameras around the perimeter, knowing May she wouldn't have gone out of their range." Phil could have hugged Skye for that. "Good idea, Billy can you pull up the cameras now?"

* * *

May's POV.

She didn't know how long she'd been on the ground trying to breathe, when she heard the faint sounds of someone running through the woods. She tried harder to get herself together, she knew she was within the perimeters of the base and should be safe from any intruders. However, she didn't want to encounter anyone; regardless of whether they were friend or foe. In the periphery of her vision, she saw a figure approaching. She cursed when she saw it was Phil. She probably should have been thankful it was him and not anyone else; at the time she just felt more anger at herself for being found in that state.

"Melinda! Its okay, it's okay." Phil said while approaching her, he crouched beside her and pulled her into his arms, how long they stayed there she doesn't know; as he held her and stroked her back while murmuring words of reassurance. As she started to calm and her gasps turned to sobbing he shifted so her face was buried in his chest.

"I'm ruining your shirt." She mumbled once she managed speak. "Doesn't matter." Despite his reassurance she tried to shift away, so he shifted again so her head was on his lap and she gazed up at him. "I'm fine now, really." He didn't respond so they stayed in silence for awhile. "I'm sorry." It was a whisper but he heard her and looked her in the eyes "Don't be, we all need to breakdown sometimes, get it out of the system. It's harder when it hits you, because you hold everything in all the time." Melinda sighed as she knew he was right, but it didn't make it any easier to accept.

* * *

Skye's POV.

She knew that she really shouldn't have stayed looking at the cameras when A.C sprinted out of the office, but she couldn't look away. There was May, having a panic attack. She knows it is silly but it just seemed surreal, breakdowns were for other people not for May, the Cavalry. She had switched on the audio to full, she knew eaves' dropping was wrong but she couldn't help herself, to his credit Billy tried to stop her but she quickly reminded him that she could hack anything anyway. She heard May apologise, for what she didn't know until A.C reassured her.

May was speaking again "You had forgotten." She watched as A.C winced "I know, I'm sorry. Paperwork?"

May just gave him one of her 'Yeah right' looks, Skye had been the recipient of that one enough him to recognise it. A.C sighed "We can go out for the day? Maybe go to the gardens, you like gardens." He paused and sighed again. "It will be like the old days." A.C looked at her with a hopeful half smile.

May's eyes shimmered with un-shed tears as she spoke "What about 'Life Happening?"

"May.." A.C bit his lip and looked like he was going to cry. Skye had to look away for a moment, she felt bad for intruding in this private moment but now she'd started she couldn't stop. It was like watching a train crash in slow motion.

"You don't play fair Phil. I... nothing has been the same since Bahrain, I wasn't enough then and I'm not enough now"

"You saved a lot of people then Melinda, you did everything you could. You did more than most people would be able to do, it was an impossible situation and you made it possible" Skye hadn't realised she was crying until Billy nudged her and passed her a handkerchief.

May sat up and glared at A.C "It wasn't enough, I'm never enough. I need to be better Phil, or I'll keep losing people. That's why I got into admin I knew I wasn't good enough to be out there and I was broken. Then you died and came back; I left admin and no matter how hard I tried not to I cared and now I have more lives to worry about. I hate being the Cavalry, not because of Bahrain but for how people say it. Like it's something great, like I did something heroic and legendary, when all I did was fail. Now with you, all my skills mean nothing. I might still lose you again. I'm just failing again."

"You're wrong, you've always been enough and you didn't fail. I know you." A.C pulled out a handkerchief and wiped their eyes.

May put her hand on A.C's shoulder and rested her forehead on his "Thank you."

Skye watched as A.C cupped May's cheek. She heard a sniffle from behind her and saw the team at the doorway, ah well at least she wouldn't be the only one in trouble for intruding on this moment. "We're both a little broken now, but at least we're still together. We can get through anything together; we've always made a great team. Individually we're heroes and legends; together we're better. You're always there for me Melinda and sometimes I take that for granted, I know I do. I'm sorry; I will try to be better. I'm Director now and I don't feel like I'm good enough and some days I just feel like a phoney, someone pretending that they're good enough for this. You've always got my back and it takes a lot to trust someone to pull your plug."

May looked straight into A.C's eyes and replied "Phil, you are only human as well, even with the GH.325 in you. You are great; you've always been a great leader. Garret was right about one thing and one thing only. I would follow you to the grave and back, I'd follow you anywhere. Not because you've been made Director, but because of the person you are, who you've always been. That being said if you're being an idiot or an ass I will still call you out on it." Skye chortled and she heard a giggle from Simmons behind, while Trip let out a brief "Ha! Go Agent May!" "Director is lucky to have her instead of the hell-beast of an ex I have." Commented Hunter while Bobbi rolled her eyes and punched him on the arm. Everyone groaned at him mentioning her for the thousandth time. "Very." Replied Fitz while Mack just nodded.

A.C was beaming at May "Huh, turns out you can do comforting and pep talks. You're getting soft Mel."

Melinda punched him in the shoulder "Shut up Phil." May responded while smirking back at him. "And don't call me Mel! I only let you get away with it when you're really upset."

Skye turned around, went to Simmons and put her arm around her friend's shoulders.

"It's going to be okay, isn't it?" Simmons asked. Skye took a second to appreciate her presence, they almost didn't get Simmons out in time. "Yeah, it really is." Skye answered as she felt right then that it would be okay, they had something special. They had two of the most exceptional people in the world leading and protecting them.

* * *

Epilogue 1 year and 10 months later. May's POV

May leant against the door frame and watched Phil frowning over the papers in front of him. It was a good night, his eyes were clear, his body was steady and still. "Late night." It wasn't a question. Phil looked up and grinned at her "Why change a good thing? Tell me, if I didn't stay up late working, would you still come in to check on me and order me to bed?" He looked at her waiting for her answer.

"Only one way to find out." She quipped.

"I'm glad you're back. You're early so I'm guessing the mission went well?" She crossed the room and perched on the edge of the desk next to him. She shrugged "It wasn't difficult, no injuries. I will have my report to you by noon."

Phil leaned back and put his hands behind his head "Good, that makes the second piece of good news this week" He looked at Melinda with a big smile, she knew he wanted her to ask what the other good news was. She kept silent just to annoy him. "Fine, I'll tell you even though you've taken the fun out of it." She raised her eyebrows and waited for him to get to the point. "Banner and Simmons had a break-through with the GH.325, the testing has been successful. It looks like they've found a way to counteract the negative side effects of it."

Melinda felt the smile take over her face, she hasn't smiled like that in years and Phil chuckled. She hadn't even realised she'd moved which was very uncharacteristic of her but the next thing she knew they were hugging.

"Told you we'd get through anything together." Phil grinned down and gave her another squeeze. Melinda rested her head on his chest and grinned into it. Phil pulled her away slightly so he could look into her face. "You, know I've just realised with everything we've been through over the years, one thing has been constant" Melinda quirked her eyebrow in a question. He didn't answer and she knew it was his little teasing payback for earlier, after a couple of minutes she gave in. She tilted her head slightly to the side and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Us."


End file.
